Elaine

Yesterday, September 23, would have been my beautiful mother-in-law Elaine's 54th birthday. She passed away July 27 after a HARD fought battle with cancer. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her. She raised my husband to be the man he is today. She loved my precious daughter with all that she had. She treated me like her own daughter. I'm so thankful for the time we had together, but I'm still deeply saddened that it wasn't long enough. I'm going to post the piece I wrote for her funeral because it's still too fresh to write something new.

Lainie and I didn’t have the typical Mother-in-law, Daughter-in-law relationship. That’s because Lainie was not your typical mother-in-law. She never judged me, never felt like I was taking over her son, never offered her advice unless she was asked. Of course, I asked often. We were instant friends.

Shortly after I started dating Chad, I learned to knit. Lainie and I joined a knitting group in Charlotte. Every Tuesday, I’d pick her up from work, we’d get dinner and spend the next three hours laughing and talking with our knitting friends. I can count on one hand how many times we missed going over 18 months. On the way home, we’d talk about the crazy comments those knitting ladies made or the latest news in our family. The drive home never lasted as long as I liked, even though I drove slower than usual.

Chad and his mom had a special Christmas tradition of having breakfast on Christmas morning. After he threw my family into the mix, it was harder for both of us to continue our familial traditions. She came up with a solution that worked: come over for breakfast earlier. She never complained that she had to get up and have breakfast ready to eat by 7 am. Instead, we’d walk into the house to the sounds of Christmas music being played and Lainie saying, “Merry Christmas, Chad! Merry Christmas, Lindsay!” We would all eat way too much and then open the thoughtful gifts Lain had picked out. She never made us feel guilty for leaving to make our rounds on Christmas, instead she was thankful for the time we could share.

Chad and I decided to start our family in October of 2008. We kept our secret until Thanksgiving Eve, when we couldn’t hold it in any longer. I won’t forget the look on Lainie’s face when we shared our news. She and I had many talks about pregnancy and motherhood. Lainie enjoyed hearing the details of her little grandbaby’s development and I loved sharing them with her. I was only halfway through my pregnancy when we got the news that her chest pain was cancer. I was heartbroken.

Lainie never complained, though. She was always more interested in hearing about the kicks and flips her little grandbaby was doing than worrying about her nausea. She called after every doctor appointment for updates on the baby and on me.

By the time Meredith was born, Lain was five months into her aggressive chemo regimen. Even though it was a very difficult time for her, Lainie spent the days prior to the birth visiting me in the hospital and I wanted her there. When most mother-in-laws would bring stress into the room, my mother-in-law brought me comfort. Her positivity kept me going and her laughter distracted me. The chemo made her exhausted, but you can bet she was at the hospital waiting for her grandbaby’s birth late into the night.

In the last 12 months, I have felt more love and respect for my mother-in-law than I thought possible. We bonded over motherhood; the cries, the poopy diapers, the first smiles, sitting up, table food, walking. She doted on my daughter. I found every reason I could to go visit or have Lainie & Charlie come to our house. I wanted to share everything with her.

Though I am incredibly saddened by the loss of my amazing mother-in-law, I will be forever thankful of the relationship and memories we were able to create. She was a model mother-in-law and will continue to be my inspiration in life.